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Mendidik serta membesarkan anak memang bukan perkara yang mudah. Pada tahap tumbuh dan kembangnya, anak kerap kali melakukan kesalahan sebagai bagian dari proses belajar. Sebagai orangtua, ada kalanya perasaan kesal menghampiri karena kelakuan si buah hati. Perasaan kesal ini juga bisa bercampur dengan kemarahan yang pada akhirnya membuat mereka memberikan hukuman kepada anak. Orangtua menghukum dengan tujuan agar anak menyesal dan pada akhirnya berubah menjadi lebih baik.
Namum pada kenyataannya banyak hukuman yang justru menyakiti si anak. Tanpa sadar orang tua menghukum anak dengan cara yang mereka anggap benar namun ternyata dilarang menurut syariat. Hukuman seperti apakah yang dilarang tersebut? Berikut ini ulasannya selengkapnya.
1. Memukul Wajah
Hukuman pertama yang tidak diperbolehkan dalam mendidik anak di agama Islam adalah memukul wajah si anak tersebut. Banyak orangtua yang berfikir bahwa dengan memukul, si anak akan segera sadar dengan kesalahannya. Namun pendapat ini merupakan suatu hal yang salah, karena bisa saja si anak malah dendam terhadap orangtua yang sudah menyakitnya.
Rasulullah SAW melarang memukul muka berdasarkan sabda Baginda yang artinya, “Jika salah seorang dari kamu memukul, maka hendaknya dia menghindari (memukul) wajah.”
Untuk itu, ketika melampiaskan marah kepada anak janganlah sekali-kali menyakitinya dengan memukul wajah anak tersebut. Jikalau masih bisa menasihatinya dengan lemah lembut, maka lakukanlah. Jangan mudah tergoda bujuk rayu setan untuk meluapkan emosi yang berlebihan.
2. Memukul dengan Benda Keras Sehingga Berbekas
Hal terakhir yang tidak boleh dilakukan dalam menghukum anak adalah memukul dengan benda keras hingga berbekas. Hal ini tentu saja dilarang oleh Rasulullah SAW, karena sekeras-kerasnya hukuman hanya menggunakan rotan dan itupun tidak boleh meninggalkan cedera dan bekas pada kulit si anak.
Rasulullah saw. menjelaskan bahwa
makna dari “pukullah” adalah “fadhribuuhunna ghairu mubarrih”, yaitu pukullah dia dengan tanpa membahayakan, seperti bengkak atau berbekas (H.R Muslim).
3. Memukul di Dalam Keadaan Sangat Marah
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Memukul dalam keadaan yang sangat marah ternyata juga tidak diperbolehkan di dalam Islam. Dikhawatirkan, jika orangtua melakukan hal tersebut maka ia akan lepas kontrol dan meluapkan emosi yang berlebihan.
Dari Abu Mas’ud al-Badri, dia berkata, “(Suatu hari) aku memukul budakku (yang masih kecil) dengan cemeti, maka aku mendengar suara (teguran) dari belakangku, ‘Ketahuilah, wahai Abu Mas’ud!’ Akan tetapi, aku tidak mengenali suara tersebut kerena kemarahan (yang sangat). Ketika pemilik suara itu mendekat dariku, maka ternyata dia adalah Rasulullah SAW dan Baginda berkata, ‘Ketahuilah, wahai Abu Mas’ud! Ketahuilah, wahai Abu Mas’ud!’ Maka aku pun melempar cemeti dari tanganku, kemudian beliau bersabda, ‘Ketahuilah, wahai Abu Mas’ud! Sesungguhnya Allah lebih mampu untuk (menyiksa) kamu daripada apa yang kami siksakan terhadap budak ini,’ maka aku pun berkata, ‘Aku tidak akan memukul budak selamanya setelah (hari) ini.”
4. Bersikap Terlalu Keras dan Kasar
Sikap ini sudah jelas bertentangan dengan sifat lemah lembut yang diajarkan oleh Islam sebagaimana sabda Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, “Barangsiapa yang terhalang dari sifat lemah lembut, maka dia akan terhalang dari mendapat kebaikan.”
Dari Anas bin Malik, “Aku membantu Nabi selama sepuluh tahun. Demi Allah, beliau tidak pernah berkata kasar kepadaku. Tidak pernah beliau berkata, ‘Mengapa engkau melakukan demikian?’ atau ‘Mengapa tidak engkau melakukan demikian?'” (H.R. Ahmad, Bukhori, Muslim, dan Abu Dawud).
Dengan bersikap keras dan kasar tentu akan membuat si anak meniru apa yang dilakukan orangtuanya. Mereka akan jadi pribadi yang kasar juga terhadap orang lain. Meskipun masih anak-anak sebenarnya ada baiknya untuk menyampaikan hal yang diinginkan dengan lemah lembut.
5. Menampakkan Kemarahan yang Sangat
Ketika dalam keadaan marah, banyak orangtua yang menampakkan kemarahan mereka di depan anaknya. Padahal ternyata perbuatan yang demikian ini tidak dibenarkan dalam Islam. Selain itu, perbuatan yang demikian bertentangan dengan amalan yang diajarkan oleh Rasulullah SAW. Ada baiknya ketika sedang marah, si orangtua menahan amarahnya tersebut.
“Bukanlah orang yang kuat itu diukur dengan kuatnya dia berkelahi, tetapi orang yang kuat adalah yang mampu menahan dirinya ketika marah.”
Sebagai orangtua ada baiknya untuk lebih belajar mengontrol emosi ketika anaknya melakukan sebuah kesalahan. Hal ini harus dilakukan agar si anak tidak mengalami trauma akibat dimarahi orangtuannya. Selalu ikuti anjuran Nabi untuk bersikap lemah lembut kepada anak.
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