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Terkadang kesendirian menjadi suatu hal yang menyakitkan bagi sebagian orang, apalagi kesendirian dalam masa-masa penantian jodoh. Kesendirian juga menjadi ujian tersendiri bagi sebagian yang lainnya, kita bisa melihat berapa banyak orang yang pada akhirnya melakukan hal yang melanggar syariat ketika tak kuasa menghadapi ujian kesendirian. Seperti memilih aktivitas pacaran dengan dalih sebagai ikhtiar untuk mendapatkan jodoh atau bahkan ada yang sampai mendatangi dukun untuk meminta ajimat pengasih dan penglaris diri agar mudah jodoh.
Memahami kalau jodoh adalah ketentuan dan ketetapan dari Allah SWT yang memang Allah sudah tentukan kapan waktunya dan siapa orangnya memang perlu. Akan tetapi disaat lain kita juga memiliki ruang ikhtiar untuk mengevaluasi diri untuk menemukan kesalahan yang mungkin saja bisa menjadi penghalang jodoh dari Allah SWT. Sebab, jika lamanya jodoh oleh ketentuan dari Allah tentu kita tidak memiliki kuasa untuk merubahnya akan tetapi jika itu memang dari kesalahan atau kekhilafan diri sendiri maka kita memiliki kesempatan untuk memperbaiki diri dan memohon ampunan dariNya.
Dalam tulisan kali ini kami mencoba mengurai 8 hal yang mungkin bisa jadi sebagai penghalang datangnya jodoh serta menunda pernikahan.
1. Jauh Dari Allah SWT
Satu hal yang mesti kita sadari adalah kita sebagai manusia tak memiliki kuasa sama sekali atas diri kita apalagi tentang jodoh kita. Allahlah yang kuasa, Allahlah yang maha menentukan dan perlu kita sadari juga adalah semua hal-hal baik yang kita raih dan dapatkan di dunia ini hanyalah semata dari rahmat serta kasih sayang dari Allah SWT.
Satu hal yang mesti kita sadari adalah kita sebagai manusia tak memiliki kuasa sama sekali atas diri kita apalagi tentang jodoh kita. Allahlah yang kuasa, Allahlah yang maha menentukan dan perlu kita sadari juga adalah semua hal-hal baik yang kita raih dan dapatkan di dunia ini hanyalah semata dari rahmat serta kasih sayang dari Allah SWT.
Jika kita meyakini Allah adalah segalanya dan kita bukan siapa-siapa maka sudah semestinya kita mendekatkan diri pada Allah SWT, patuh dan taat padaNya, menjalankan perintah serta meninggalkan larangannya. Karena menjadi suatu yang aneh jika kita berharap pertolongan dari Allah (termasuk jodoh) namun kita jauh dari Allah, shalat di sisa waktu, berdzikir jarang, membaca ayat-ayatnya jarang, berdoa tak pernah.
So, sekarang juga evaluasi diri kita selama ini, bagaimana hubungan kita dengan Allah SWT ?, bagaimana dengan shalat kita ? bagaimana dengan tilawah quran kita ? dan ibadah-ibadah lainnya. Karena boleh jadi jauhnya kita dari Allah menjadi alasan tertundanya jodoh kita, Allah ingin kita menikah dalam keadaan taat dan takwa padanya dan pernikahanpun untuk menggapai ridhonya.
2. Tidak Ridhonya Orang Tua
Ada sesosok manusia yang dengan ikhlas berjuang untuk kita, dia sangat mencintai kita bahkan semenjak kita belum ada di dunia ini. sesosok manusia yang selalu mengkhawatirkan kita, selalu memikirkan kita, selalu mengutamakan kita dibanding dirinya sendiri dan selalu mendoakan kita dalam diam dan balutan air matanya. Sesosok manusia itu adalah ayah dan ibu kita, orang tua kita.
Ada sesosok manusia yang dengan ikhlas berjuang untuk kita, dia sangat mencintai kita bahkan semenjak kita belum ada di dunia ini. sesosok manusia yang selalu mengkhawatirkan kita, selalu memikirkan kita, selalu mengutamakan kita dibanding dirinya sendiri dan selalu mendoakan kita dalam diam dan balutan air matanya. Sesosok manusia itu adalah ayah dan ibu kita, orang tua kita.
Coba bercermin diri, bagaimana hubungan kita dengan ayah-ibu kita ? sudahkah kita patuh padanya ? sudahkah kita membahagiakan hatinya? sudahkah kita membuat dirinya tenang ? ataukah selama ini kita sering mengecewakannya ? berkata kasar padanya ? tidak memperhatikannya ? atau bahkan membuat dirinya kecewa memiliki anak seperti kita ?. Sekarang saatnya memperbaiki diri dengan orang tua kita, minta maaf padanya, sujud di kaki mereka, dan minta doa tulus dan ikhlas darinya agar didoakan dimudahkan bertemu dengan jodoh terbaik dunia akhirat.
3. Harta Haram Atau Syubhat
Apa yang kita makan sangat berpengaruh pada pikiran, hati ,prilaku serta getaran diri kita. Boleh jadi harta-harta yang kita makan selama ini ada setitik keharaman di dalamnya atau keabu-abuan sehingga sebab itu Allah menunda rezeki kita dalam hal ini adalah jodoh. Banyak jenis harta haram dan syubhat seperti riba, korupsi, menipu dan lain sebagainya.
Apa yang kita makan sangat berpengaruh pada pikiran, hati ,prilaku serta getaran diri kita. Boleh jadi harta-harta yang kita makan selama ini ada setitik keharaman di dalamnya atau keabu-abuan sehingga sebab itu Allah menunda rezeki kita dalam hal ini adalah jodoh. Banyak jenis harta haram dan syubhat seperti riba, korupsi, menipu dan lain sebagainya.
4. Hati yang selalu gelisah
Tak menutup kemungkinan memang lamanya datang jodoh membuat hati gelisah, tidak tenang bahkan cenderung stress apalagi ketika muncul desakan dari berbagai pihak untuk segera menikah. Sehingga pikiran kacau yang akhirnya berdampak pada wajah yang selalu murung, penampilan acak kadut, dan membuat jodoh semakin menjauh.
Menjaga ketenangan hati adalah hal yang penting, karena setidaknya dengan jiwa yang lapang, pikiran yang tenang jalan muncul berbagai kemudahan-kemudahan dari Allah SWT. Dan, agar hati selalu tenang tentu tidak ada cara lain kecuali selalu membuatnya tertaut pada Allah SWT.
5. Memiliki Ekspetasi Terlalu Tinggi Bahkan Sempurna Tentang Kriteria Jodoh
Jika kamu salah satu penganut paham ini, memiliki ekspetasi yang terlalu tinggi atas kriteria jodohmu maka ketahuilah kamu menikah dengan manusia, tempatnya salah dan khilaf. Jadi sebenarnya mustahil jika berharap yang sempurna bahkan menjadi suatu yang menyedihkan jika belum menemukan pasangan yang sempurna atau sreg di hati dan menjadikannya sebagai alasan untuk menunda pernikahan.
Jika kamu salah satu penganut paham ini, memiliki ekspetasi yang terlalu tinggi atas kriteria jodohmu maka ketahuilah kamu menikah dengan manusia, tempatnya salah dan khilaf. Jadi sebenarnya mustahil jika berharap yang sempurna bahkan menjadi suatu yang menyedihkan jika belum menemukan pasangan yang sempurna atau sreg di hati dan menjadikannya sebagai alasan untuk menunda pernikahan.
Selama agamanya bagus, akhlaknya baik dan juga memiliki kesiapan mental serta finansial yang baik maka terimalah. Karena boleh jadi laki-laki yang berani datang melamar kerumah itu memang laki-laki terbaik yang Allah skenariokan untukmu. Tentu Allah punya alasan, kenapa Ia memilih laki-laki itu diantara miliyarn laki-laki lain di muka bumi ini yang datang kerumahmu.
6. Trauma Masa Lalu
Trauma masa lalu menjadi alasan untuk menunda pernikahan bagi banyak orang, contohnya ada wanita yang trauma pada laki-laki karena pernah dikecewakan, trauma karena mengalami kekerasan oleh laki-laki dan juga trauma karena di masa lalu pernah terjatuh pada seks bebas dan sudah tidak gadis lagi.
Trauma masa lalu menjadi alasan untuk menunda pernikahan bagi banyak orang, contohnya ada wanita yang trauma pada laki-laki karena pernah dikecewakan, trauma karena mengalami kekerasan oleh laki-laki dan juga trauma karena di masa lalu pernah terjatuh pada seks bebas dan sudah tidak gadis lagi.
Untuk masalah ini, solusinya kita mesti menyadari kalau Allah itu maha pengampun sejelek atau seacak kadut apapun masa lalu kita selama kita bertaubat padaNya dengan sebenar-benarnya taubat, InsyaAllah pintu taubat akan selalu terbuka lebar untuk kita. Jangan mudah menyerah, putus asa serta mengeluh dari rahmat Allah. Dan, satu hal lagi yang mesti diingat adalah tak semua laki-laki itu sama, diantara laki-laki jahat, tidak bertanggung jawab serta yang mengecewakanmu masih banyak laki-laki lain yang taat, bertakwa, penyayang serta menghormati wanita.
7. Terlalu Fokus Pada Penyelesain Masalah Pribadi
Tak sedikit juga yang menunda pernikahan dengan alasan karena ingin memperbaiki diri dulu, menyelesaikan masalah diri dulu padahal jika memiliki masalah pribadi seperti hutang, diri yang belum sempurna atau bahkan memiliki suatu penyakit akan terasa ringan jika dilalui bersama dengan pasangan. Yakinlah masih banyak laki-laki yang rela menerima pasangannya lengkap dengan kelebihan dan kekurangan yang dimiliki.
Tak sedikit juga yang menunda pernikahan dengan alasan karena ingin memperbaiki diri dulu, menyelesaikan masalah diri dulu padahal jika memiliki masalah pribadi seperti hutang, diri yang belum sempurna atau bahkan memiliki suatu penyakit akan terasa ringan jika dilalui bersama dengan pasangan. Yakinlah masih banyak laki-laki yang rela menerima pasangannya lengkap dengan kelebihan dan kekurangan yang dimiliki.
8. Tidak Berkomitmen Pada Waktu yang Ditargetkan
Sering kali kita membuat suatu target kapan menikah, misalnya akan menikah di usia 23 tahun. Di saat mendekati usia 23 tahun ternyata merasa diri belum sempurna, atau belum memiliki calonnya. Sehingga dengan mudah membuat kita mengundur lagi waktunya. Nah, agar tidak terjadi penundaan maka berkomitmenlah dengan waktu yang telah ditetapkan, lakukan ikhtiar semakimal mungkin mulai dari berdoa pada Allah, minta di doakan oleh orang tua, teman dan juga minta dicarikan oleh guru ngaji calon pasangannya jika memang alasannya belum memiliki pasangan.
Sering kali kita membuat suatu target kapan menikah, misalnya akan menikah di usia 23 tahun. Di saat mendekati usia 23 tahun ternyata merasa diri belum sempurna, atau belum memiliki calonnya. Sehingga dengan mudah membuat kita mengundur lagi waktunya. Nah, agar tidak terjadi penundaan maka berkomitmenlah dengan waktu yang telah ditetapkan, lakukan ikhtiar semakimal mungkin mulai dari berdoa pada Allah, minta di doakan oleh orang tua, teman dan juga minta dicarikan oleh guru ngaji calon pasangannya jika memang alasannya belum memiliki pasangan.
Itulah 8 hal penghalang datangnya jodoh, jodoh memang takdir dari Allah SWT, namun Allah memberikan ruang bagi kita untuk berikhtiar menemukannya. Semoga bermanfaat dan bisa menjadi jalan menuju perbaikan diri.
Sumber: elmina-id.com
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