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Menikah merupakan tali pengikat yang suci untuk setiap pasangan laki-laki dan wanita menjadi suami istri yang lengkap dengan hak dan kewajiban, sekaligus menjadi peluang mencari pahala dan surga.
Namun terkadang, suami atau istri terperosok dalam dosa dan kesalahan terhadap pasangannya hingga melukai.
Sebab dosa-dosa terhadap pasangan, Ada dosa dan kesalahan yang paling meresahkan hati istri dibandingkan kesalahan lainnya.
Pernikahan adalah sebuah ikatan suci. Mengikat laki-laki dan wanita menjadi suami istri lengkap dengan hak dan kewajibannya; peluang pahala dan surga.
Namun terkadang, suami atau istri terperosok dalam dosa dan kesalahan terhadap pasangannya hingga melukai dan meresahkan. Sebab dosa-dosa terhadap pasangan, selain merupakan kedurhakaan kepada Allah juga merupakan pengganggu dalam mewujudkan tujuan keluarga sakinah mawaddah wa rahmah.
Setiap manusia, baik suami atau pun istri, ia pasti pernah melakukan dosa dan kesalahan. Namun ada dosa dan kesalahan yang lebih meresahkan jiwa pasangan dibandingkan kesalahan lainnya.
1. Berburuk sangka kepada istri
Berburuk sangka (su’udhan) merupakan hal yang diharamkan Islam. Meskipun buruk sangka adalah amalan hati, namun ia bisa mempengaruhi ucapan dan perbuatan sehingga istri resah karena ia selalu dicurigai dan dianggap bersalah.
إِيَّاكُمْ وَالظَّنَّ فَإِنَّ الظَّنَّ أَكْذَبُ الْحَدِيثِ
“Waspadalah dengan buruk sangka karena buruk sangka adalah sejelek-jeleknya perkataan dusta.” (HR. Bukhari dan Muslim)
Ada suami yang berburuk sangka kepada istrinya soal cinta dan kesetiaan. Ia selalu curiga ketika ada telpon untuk istrinya, ada SMS masuk, atau ada tanda WA masuk. Saat istrinya tidur, ia membuka semua SMS, WA dan BBM yang masuk. Setiap ada telepon, ia menguping suara siapa di sana; laki-laki atau perempuan.
Yang lebih parah, ketika suami berburuk sangka kepada istrinya soal kehormatan. Ia takut istrinya selingkuh, padahal ia tahu istrinya seorang yang shalihah. Ada sebuah anekdot, untuk memastikan istrinya tidak selingkuh, seorang suami setiap hari menggambar cicak di perut istrinya, dengan kepala menghadap ke bawah. Setiap sore ia periksa apakah gambar itu masih terbaca. Hari itu, kebetulan sang istri membeli lulur baru. Ia membersihkan seluruh bagian tubuhnya dan tanpa disadari gambar cicak itu hilang. Ia khawatir nanti suaminya curiga yang tidak-tidak. Maka ia pun menggambar kembali cicak itu di perutnya. Sayangnya, ia tidak sadar bahwa ia keliru menggambar terbalik, cicaknya menghadap ke atas. Sang suami pun marah, “Apa yang kau lakukan, mengapa gambar cicaknya telah berubah?” Sang istri yang dituduh bukan-bukan tak mau kehilangan akal. “Mungkin cicak ini nggak tahan baunya, jadi ia berbalik menghadap ke atas.”
2. Malas dalam mencari nafkah
Di antara kewajiban suami terhadap istri adalah memberikan nafkah. Di antaranya adalah nafkah materi berupa tempat tinggal, pakaian dan makanan.
وَلَهُنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
“Mereka (istri-istri itu) berhak mendapatkan nafkah dan pakaian yang layak, yang menjadi tanggung jawab kalian (para suami)” (HR. Muslim)
Dosa suami yang meresahkan istri, di antaranya adalah, ketika suami malas mencari nafkah. Ketika keluarganya kekurangan, dengan santainya ia menyuruh istrinya meminta kepada orang tua. “Minta saja ke orang tuamu, orang tuamu kan kaya. Buat apa sih harta sebanyak itu kalau tidak untuk anaknya. Toh bulan ini kita belum minta kan”
Dosa suami semacam ini membuat istrinya resah. Ia malu jika terus menerus minta kepada orang tua padahal jika suaminya mau bersungguh-sungguh, ia bisa mencari nafkah tanpa harus menggantungkan kepada orang tua atau mertua.
Meskipun tidak banyak suami model malas begini, namun kenyataannya ada. Semoga Allah melindungi kita dari yang demikian adanya.
3. Pelit memberi nafkah istri
Ini sedikit berbeda dibandingkan poin kedua. Sang suami sudah mencari nafkah, bahkan ia tergolong sudah kaya. Namun, ia sangat pelit dalam memberikan nafkah kepada istrinya.
“Ini uang 1 juta, harus cukup untuk satu bulan ya. Termasuk membayar SPP anak-anak.” Mendengar itu sang istri hanya bisa diam. Lalu ia pergi ke kamar dan menangis. Ia takut jika meminta akan dimarahi seperti biasanya, namun ketika ia menerima ia tahu uang itu tidak akan cukup sebulan.
Pernah seorang wanita mengadukan kepada Rasulullah betapa pelitnya suaminya. Ia pun lantas bertanya apakah boleh mengambil harta suaminya demi memenuhi kebutuhan pokok karena sebenarnya suaminya itu kaya dan banyak uangnya. Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam pun lantas mengijinkannya mengambil sesuai kebutuha pokok.
Ibnu Qudamah menegaskan, “Memberikan nafkah kepada istri hukumnya wajib sebagaimana firman Allah dalam surat Ath Thalaq ayat 7.
لِيُنْفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِنْ سَعَتِهِ وَمَنْ قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنْفِقْ مِمَّا آَتَاهُ اللَّهُ
“Hendaklah orang yang mampu memberi nafkah menurut kemampuannya. Sedangkan orang yang disempitkan rezekinya, hendaklah memberi nafkah dari harta yang diberikan Allah kepadanya…” (QS. Ath Talaq: 7)
4. Tidak memberikan nafkah biologis kepada istri
Dosa lain yang tak kalah meresahkan bagi istri adalah ketika suaminya tidak memberikan nafkah biologis kepadanya tanpa adanya udzur syar’i. Pada sejumlah kasus, dengan berbagai alasan klise, seorang suami tidak memberikan nafkah biologis kepada istrinya. Hal itu termasuk dosa karena suami istri wajib untuk memenuhi hak-hak pasangannya.
Bentuk yang lebih sering terjadi dan tidak disadari adalah suami hanya mementingkan hajatnya terpenuhi. Mereka melakukan hubungan di malam hari, namun sang suami cepat keluar dan meninggalkan istrinya begitu saja tanpa memberikan kepuasan kepadanya. Hal ini termasuk dosa.
5. Mengkhianati cinta istri
Menikah adalah sebuah komitmen suci untuk hidup bersama dan saling setia. Namun kita lihat akhir-akhir ini, berita tentang kasus pengkhianatan cinta semakin banyak. Mulai selingkuh, berzina, hingga yang terselubung dalam bentuk pacaran dengan wanita yang tidak halal baginya.
Suami selingkuh, dalam kasus ini, merupakan dosa yang paling meresahkan dibandingkan dengan suami berzina dengan pelacur. Sebab selingkuh bukan hanya sekedar berzina tetapi juga ada ikatan cinta dan hubungan emosional. Wajar jika istri sangat marah dan tersakiti sebab ia dikhianati dan diduakan dengan wanita yang tidak halal.
Meskipun demikian, bukan berarti zina di mata Allah dosanya ringan. Sangat berat. Sebab Allah Subhanhau wa Ta’ala bukan hanya melarang zina tetapi juga melarang mendekati zina.
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا
“Dan janganlah kalian mendekati zina; sesungguhnya zina itu adalah suatu perbuatan yang keji dan suatu jalan yang buruk.” (QS. Al Isra’: 32)
Demikian 5 dosa suami yang paling meresahkan istri. Semoga tulisan ini bisa menjadi pengingat bagi para suami. Semoga bermanfaat
Sumber : wajibbaca.com
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