Inilah 7 Cara Khusus Ta’arufan yang Benar Dalam Agama Islam

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Kali ini akan membahas sebuah pengetahuan bagi para calon suami dan calon istri yang banyak dianggap asing bagi mereka yang baru mengenal islam yang sesungguhnya. Walaupun coretan ini kelihatan kocar kacir tapi ambilah manfaatnya bila sobat anggap bermanfaat.

Ta’aruf (bukan perkenalan biasa) yang akan mengantarkan dua orang insan kepada mahligai terindah dalam kehidupan manusia yaitu pernikahan. Namun Kebanyakan kita masih belum terlalu mengetahui cara-cara ta’aruf yang baik. berikut ulasannya.

kiat-kiat ta’aruf Islami yang benar agar nantinya tercipta rumah tangga sakinah mawaddah warohmah,

1. Melakukan Istikharoh Dengan Sekhusyu’-khusyunya
Setelah ikhwan mendapatkan data dan foto, lakukanlah istikharoh dengan sebaik-baiknya, agar Allah SWT memberikan jawaban yang terbaik.

Dalam melakukan istikharoh ini, jangan ada kecenderungan dulu pada calon yang diberikan kepada kita. Tapi ikhlaskanlah semua hasilnya pada Allah SWT.

Luruskan niat kita, bahwa kita menikah memang ingin benar-benar membentuk rumah tangga yang sakinah mawaddah warohmah. Seseorang biasanya mendapatkan sesuatu sesuai dengan apa yang diniatkannya.

2. Menentukan Jadwal Pertemuan (Ta’aruf Islami)
Setelah Ikhwan melakukan istikharoh dan adanya kemantapan hati, maka segerlah melaporkan pada Ustadz, lalu Ustadz pun memberikan data dan foto kepada Ustadzah (guru akhwat), dan memberikan data dan foto ikhwan tersebut kepada Akhwat.

Biasanya akhwat yang memang sudah siap, Insya Allah setelah istikharoh juga segera melaporkan kepada Ustadzahnya. Lalu segeralah atur jadwal pertemuan ta’aruf tersebut. Bisa dilakukan di rumah Ustadzah akhwatnya.

Memang idealnya kedua pembimbing juga hadir, sebagai tanda kasih sayang dan perhatian terhadap mutarabbi (murid-murid). Hendaknya jadwal pertemuan disesuaikan waktunya, agar semua bisa hadir, pilihlah hari Ahad, karena hari libur.

3. Gali Pertanyaan Sedalam-dalamnya
Setelah bertemu, hendaknya didampingi Ustadz dan Ustadzah, lalu saling bertanyalah sedalam-dalamnya, ya bisa mulai dari data pribadi, keluarga, hobi, penyakit yang diderita, visi dan misi tentang rumah tangga.

Biasanya pada tahap ini, baik ikhwan maupun akhwat agak malu-malu dan grogi, maklum tidak mengenal sebelumnya. Tapi dengan berjalannya waktu, semua akan menjadi cair.

Peran pembimbing juga sangat dibutuhkan untuk mencairkan suasana. Jadi tidak terlihat kaku dan terlalu serius. Dibutuhkan jiwa humoris, santai namun tetap serius.

Silakan baik ikhwan maupun akhwat saling bertanya sedalam-dalamnya, jangan sungkan-sungkan, pada tahap ini. Biasanya pertanyaan-pertanyaan pun akan mengalir.

4. Menentukan Waktu Ta’aruf Dengan Keluarga Akhwat
Setelah melakukan ta’aruf dan menggali pertanyaan-pertanyaan sedalam-dalamnya, dan pihak ikhwan merasakan adanya kecocokan visi dan misi dengan sang akhwat, maka ikhwan pun segera memutuskan untuk melakukan ta’aruf ke rumah akhwat, untuk berkenalan dengan keluarga besarnya.

Ini pun sudah diketahui oleh Ustadz maupun Ustadzah dari kedua belah pihak. Jadi memang semua harus selalu dikomunikasikan, agar nantinya hasilnya juga baik.

Jangan berjalan sendiri. Sebaiknya ketika datang bersilaturahim ke rumah akhwat, Ustadz pun mendampingi ikhwan sebagai rasa sayang seorang guru terhadap muridnya.

Tetapi jika memang Ustadz sangat sibuk dan ada da’wah yang tidak bisa ditinggalkan, bisa saja ikhwan didampingi oleh teman pengajian lainnya.

Namun ingat, ikhwan jangan datang seorang diri, untuk menghindarkan fitnah dan untuk membedakan dengan orang lain yang terkenal di masyarakat dengan istilah ’ngapel’ (pacaran).

Hendaknya waktu ideal untuk silaturahim ke rumah akhwat pada sore hari, biasanya lebih santai. Tapi bisa saja diatur oleh kedua pihak, kapan waktu yang paling tepat untuk silaturahim tersebut.

5. Keluarga Ikhwan pun Boleh Mengundang Silaturahim Akhwat ke Rumahnya
Dalam hal menikah tanpa pacaran, adalah wajar jika orang tua ikhwan ingin mengenal calon menantunya (akhwat). Maka sah-sah saja, jika orang tua ikhwan ingin berkenalan dengan akhwat (calon menantunya).

Sebaiknya ketika datang ke rumah ikhwan, akhwat pun tidak sendirian, untuk menghindari terjadinya fitnah. Dalam hal ini bisa saja akhwat ditemani Ustadzahnya ataupun teman pengajiannya sebagai tanda perhatian dan kasih sayang pada mutarabbi.

6. Menentukan Waktu Khitbah
Setelah terjadinya silaturahim kedua belah pihak, dan sudah ada kecocokan visi dan misi dari ikhwan dan akhwat juga dengan keluarga besanya, maka jangalah berlama-lama.

Segeralah tentukan kapan waktu untuk mengkhitbah akhwat. Jarak waktu antara ta’aruf dengan khitbah, sebaiknya tidak terlalu lama, karena takut menimbulkan fitnah.

7. Menentukan Waktu Khitbah
Setelah terjadinya silaturahim kedua belah pihak, dan sudah ada kecocokan visi dan misi dari ikhwan dan akhwat juga dengan keluarga besanya, maka jangalah berlama-lama.

Segeralah tentukan kapan waktu untuk mengkhitbah akhwat. Jarak waktu antara ta’aruf dengan khitbah, sebaiknya tidak terlalu lama, karena takut menimbulkan fitnah.

Semoga dengan menjalankan kiat-kiat ta’aruf secara Islami di atas, Insya Allah akan terbentuk rumah tangga yang sakinah mawaddah warohmah…yang menjadi dambaan setiap keluarga muslim baik di dunia maupun di akhirat.

Semoga Bermanfaat

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