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“Hanya kepunyaan Allah-lah kerajaan langit dan bumi, Dia menciptakan apa yang Dia kehendaki. Dia memberikan anak-anak perempuan kepada siapa yang Dia kehendaki dan memberikan anak-anak lelaki kepada siapa yang Dia kehendaki.” (QS. as-Syura: 49)
Dalam ayat ini, ketika Allah menceritakan nikmat anak yang Allah berikan kepada hamba-Nya, Allah awali dengan anak perempuan, baru anak lelaki.
Sebagian ulama memahami, urutan ini bukan tanpa makna. Artinya, bisa jadi mereka yang dikaruniai Allah anak perempuan sebagai anak pertama, itu merupakan tanda kebaikan untuknya.
Al-Qurthubi dalam tafsirnya membawakan keterangan sahabat Watsilah bin al-Asqa’,
“Bagian dari keberkahan wanita, ketika dia melahirkan anak pertamanya berjenis kelamin perempuan, sebelum anak laki-laki. Karena Allah berfirman, (yang artinya): “Dia memberikan anak-anak perempuan kepada siapa yang Dia kehendaki dan memberikan anak-anak lelaki kepada siapa yang Dia kehendaki”. Dalam ayat ini Allah mulai dengan anak perempuan.” (Tafsir al-Qurthubi, 16/48).
Hadisnya Dhaif
Terdapat riwayat
yang marfu’ dari Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam yang menyebutkan bahwa keberkahan wanita, ketika anak pertamanya perempuan. Namun semua riwayat marfu’ ini statusnya dhaif.
Diantaranya, disebutkan asy-Syaukani dalam tafsirnya, riwayat yang dibawakan Ibnu Mardawaih dan Ibnu Asakir dari Watsilah bin Asqa’ secara marfu’,“Bagian dari keberkahan wanita, anak pertamanya perempuan. Karena Allah berfirman (yang artinya), “Dia memberikan anak-anak perempuan kepada siapa yang Dia kehendaki dan memberikan anak-anak lelaki kepada siapa yang Dia kehendaki.” (Fathul Qadir, 4/776)
Demikian pula diriwayatkan ad-Dailami dalam musnadnya dari Aisyah secara marfu’,
“Bagian dari keberkahan wanita kepada suaminya, mahar yang murah dan anak pertama perempuan”. (hadis ini di-dhaif-kan as-Sakhawi dalam al-Maqashid al-Hasanah).
Terlepas dari status hadisnya yang bermasalah, anak adalah anugrah dari Allah. Sementara manusia tidak memiliki pilihan untuk menentukan jenis kelamin buah hatinya. Karena anak adalah hibah dari Allah, sementara manusia hanya bisa meminta. Sehingga yang lebih penting adalah berusaha mensyukuri kehadiran semua anaknya.
Para ulama menilai keberuntungan bagi yang memiliki anak perempuan, untuk membangun sikap optimis terhadap setiap anugrah yang Allah berikan. Agar jangan sampai muncul perasaan sial, seperti yang diyakini masyarakat jahiliyah.
Allah ceritakan karakter mereka dalam al-Qur’an,
“Apabila seseorang dari mereka diberi kabar dengan (kelahiran) anak perempuan, hitamlah (merah padamlah) mukanya, dan dia sangat marah. ( ) Ia menyembunyikan dirinya dari orang banyak, disebabkan buruknya berita yang disampaikan kepadanya. Apakah dia akan memeliharanya dengan menanggung kehinaan ataukah akan menguburkannya ke dalam tanah (hidup-hidup)?.” (QS. an-Nahl: 58 – 59) (ukthiindo)
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