"Di Penjara, Aku Sholat Tanpa Jilbab dan Pakaian"

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Pada hari pertama saya di Penjara Ramla, mereka melepas peniti-peniti yang tersemat di jilbab saya. Setelah saya kembali dari pengadilan yang pertama. Mereka memberitahu, saya dilarang memakai manset di penjara dengan dalih hanya sebagai assesoris pakaian. Sipir penjara mengambilnya dan membuangnya ke tempat sampah yang berada didekatnya.
Saya bisa menerima larangan itu, namun lengan pakaian saya pendek, sehingga saya memerlukan manset itu.

Suatu malam, saat kembali ke sel, setelah seharian berada di Bosta, saya tidak membiarkan mata ini tertutup, hingga saya dipanggil untuk penyelidikan. Saya sudah mempersiapkan diri saya dan saya juga mencuci kaos kaki saya, dan memakainya dalam keadaan basah. Ketika sipir penjara memegang kakiku, ia berkata kepada saya, “Saat kamu kembali, saya akan melepas kaos kaki kamu!!”
Ketika saya kembali dari penyelidikan jam satu malam, sipir penjara telah menunggu saya, ia mengambil kedua kaos kaki saya dan melemparnya ke tempat sampah.

Sepuluh hari telah berlalu sejak saya ditangkap. Di dalam sel penjara saya terisolasi dari semuanya. Dalam sholat, tilawah Qur’an , do’a-do’a dan munajat saya kepada Allah Azza wa Jalla saya memohon agar Allah segera menghilangkan penderitaan ini, dan mengakhiri segala cobaan ini.

https://youtu.be/cnrVbCccVeg

Mungkin saya adalah sebagian kecil tahanan yang tenang dan stabil, di tengah tahanan terisolasi lain  yang berteriak mencaci dan menggila.

Selesai dari pengadilan yang kelima, ketika saya kembali ke penjara, petugas memanggil saya dan mengatakan “Mulai hari ini dan seterusnya kamu tidak boleh memakai jilbab maupun pakaian di dalam sel Qassam ini!!”

Saya tidak tahu, dengan bahasa apapun saya berbicara untuk mengerti bahwa ini sama sekali tidak masuk akal, berkata-kata pun tidak membantu saya, saya mencoba terus bertahan, saya tidak menangis di depan sipir agar mereka tidak merasa gembira atas kemalangan saya, agar saya tidak putus asa dengan kekejaman ini.

Tapi saya tidak bisa menahan air mata saya hari itu, saya menangis di depannya dengan api kemarahan yang menyala, saya tidak bisa melakukan itu, dan saya tidak akan melakukannya !!

Saya sampai di pintu Qassam, sipir penjara menyuruh saya melepas jilbab, maka saya lepas, sekarang ia meminta saya untuk melepas pakaian saya, kalau saya menolak, akan dilepas secara paksa, dan saya terpaksa melepas pakaian saya di depan mereka.

Mereka memasukan saya ke dalam sel, ini puncak penderitaan saya, tangis saya langsung pecah, saya enggan melakukan apapun, saya coba untuk mengendalikan air mata saya, demi Allah air mata ini mengalir di luar kendali saya.

Sekarang usia saya 40 tahun dan saya tidak pernah melepas jilbab saya sejak berusia 7 tahun. Dan tidak ada satupun orang asing yang melihat saya tanpa pakaian sejak berusia 15 tahun.

Sekarang makhluk yang paling najis dan hina telah melihat saya tanpa jilbab dan pakaian.

Saya menangis sejadi-jadinya, menjerit, bertakbir.
Tidak ada yang menjawab, kecuali hanya dinding-dinding sel yang membisu.

Saya menangis hampir dua jam, saya shalat tanpa jilbab dan pakaian, saya berdoa agar Allah memberikan saya tidur yang nyenyak. memohon dijadikan hati ini tidak hanyut dalam tangisan.
Saya tidur hingga fajar, sejumlah sipir penjara masuk untuk mengabsen, saya kembali menangis. Saya menyembunyikan kepala saya di antara kedua tangan saya.

Ketika datang waktu dhuhur, sipir laki-laki datang untuk memeriksa sel, tangis saya kembali pecah. Saya mencoba meyakinkan mereka bahwa jilbab dan pakaian saya adalah bagian dari saya, mengambil keduanya seperti telah mengambil kulit saya dan menyayatnya.

Shalat saya tidak sah tanpanya, dan tidak ada seorang laki-laki pun yang boleh melihat saya tanpanya.

Suatu hari, saya dibawa ke sel yang lain, saya tidak tahu alasannya, saya berpikir saya akan menemukan keadaan yang lebih baik, ternyata ketika saya berada di sana, saya mendapati ruangan berdiameter dua meter, saya memeriksa kasur, maka saya mengangkat “kasur” itu, sungguh saya menemukan karat, air dan kecoa yang sudah mati, saya memeriksa toilet, penuh dengan limbah, kotoran, dan tisu. Saya membuka pompa toilet, sehingga menyedot semua kotoran dan najis, tampaknya semua sudah tersedot, dan saya tetap membiarkan pompa toilet itu tetap terbuka sepanjang malam, menyamarkan suara teriakan yang ada di dalam sel.

Dua kamera memantau tempat tidur, toilet, pintu kaca kamar mandi yang transparan dan rendah menampakkan apa yang ada dibelakangnya.
Sel ini berseberangan dengan ruangan sipir penjara. Semua yang di dalam dan di luar di periksa oleh para sipir. Mereka memeriksa seluruh pendatang baru sel yang kotor ini.

Tidak ada kamar mandi di dalam sel, tapi sel di dalam kamar mandi.

Saya mengambil wudhu untuk melaksanakan shalat Isya’, saya shalat tanpa jilbab, tanpa pakaian dan tanpa sujud karena tanahnya najis.

Keesokan harinya, saya diberi jilbab dan pakaian untuk pergi ke pengadilan
Saya sampai ke pengadilan dengan keadaan lelah karena perjalanan dan tangis yang terus menerus. Setelah semalaman terpaksa tidak bisa tertidur karena suara air toilet dan rasa sedih yang teramat dalam.

Dalam foto itu, saya berulangkali mengatakan kepada pengacara bagaimana mereka meraih jilbab saya dan memaksa saya untuk melepaskan pakaian saya. Juga tentang kondisi sel baru yang kotor. Bagaimana, untuk pertama kalinya dalam hidup saya, orang tersebut melihat saya tanpa pakaian dan saya shalat tanpa sujud ataupun penutup.

Pada hari itu, wajah saya mengungkapkan gambaran segala penderitaan dunia.

Ketika pengacara mengangkat masalah tentang saya, menjelaskan kepada mereka apa yang terjadi dengan saya di dalam penjara, bagaimana mereka melepas jilbab dan pakaian saya, para peserta sidang merasa kesal dan mendesak pengadilan.
Pengacara saya berhasil memperoleh keputusan dari pengadilan, agar mereka tidak melepas jilbab dan pakaian saya, dan mengembalikan saya ke sel yang pertama.

Setelah saya kembali dari pengadilan, mereka memaksa dan mengambil kulit (pakaian) saya untuk kedua kalinya dan menempatkan saya ke dalam sel yang menjijikkan.
Tetapi saya tetap mempertahankan hak saya, saya menjerit dan bertakbir selama 4 jam, hingga akhirnya mereka mempertemukan saya dengan kepala sipir, saya menunjukkan hasil keputusan pengadilan, dan mereka harus mentaatinya.

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